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Copyright © 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Marina Michaels. All rights reserved. For reprint rights, please see my contact information page.
I did the following channeling at the request of a man who was in jail for having sexually violated a young boy. While words cannot express how strongly I feel that the way pedophiles violate and abuse trusting and innocent children is one of the most heinous crimes in the world, I was given encouragement by my spirit guides to go ahead and do the channeling. To my own surprise, I found that I was able to bring through material that was much less judgmental than I expected of myself.
When I reviewed the material after the channeling, I realized that the information was non-specific enough that it could be shared with others without violating client confidentiality, and I hoped that it might be of some help to others. (I received permission to share this material from the man for whom I did the channeling. Otherwise, private psychic sessions are not only entirely private, but I destroy all copies of the session afterward except for the copy the client receives.)
Although I did this channeling in 1993, and although I had permission from the person I did the reading for, I hesitated about sharing it—especially about putting it on the Web—for quite a time because of the subject matter. However, this reading is quite gentle and not at all graphic. Though I wouldn't recommend it, a child could read this without being exposed to anything "nasty."
Having said that, I will also add that I found this information to be of a great help in understanding, not just pedophilia, but the nature of abused children and how it can come about that someone who was once a child himself, perhaps a child violated, could grow up into someone who violates children in turn. I still think it is horrible, and I would not willingly or knowingly associate with a pedophile, but it is helpful and potentially even healing to have a different perspective on the subject.
Warning! If you are involved in any way with someone who is a child molester, do not—I repeat, absolutely do NOT ever, EVER trust that person with a child. It doesn't matter how much they claim to be different or how earnestly they promise that they won't do it again. In any given lifetime, once a child molester, always a child molester. Although the entity I was channeling says otherwise, I believe that it is only possible for a pedophile to heal from this kind of horrific illness through a miracle. I am not saying miracles don't happen, because they do. What I am saying is that such a miracle would have to be wanted by the person, and I believe that people make the choice to experience what they experience for spiritual reasons that require the illness.
On the other hand, if you have suffered from this kind of abuse (that is, if you are a child sexual abuse survivor), I think it is entirely possible for you to heal. I hope this channeling can be one small part of that healing. I have provided some links below the channeled materials for further information.
Everything from below this point until the ending copyright statement, with the exception of material in [brackets], is channeled material. Anything in [brackets] is an editorial enhancement from me. Parenthetical comments are also channeled material.
First, we would like to let you know that you are not alone in your struggles to understand where you have landed in time and space. There are many such just like you, many whom you are helping simply by working through your own puzzle. You needn't understand the mechanism of how you are helping; however, we will say a little on it, as you are curious.
Whenever anyone works in time and space on solving difficulties, the energies they create, of willingness, determination, doggedness, and openness to the new, spread out around them like the overlapping circles from rocks dropped into a still pond. Your efforts to solve your puzzle (note we are not calling it a problem) are like so many rocks dropped into the still pond of existence. In this case, however, existence is not a still pond either, no more than you are. There are many other people dropping their own stones into the same pond. Therefore, what you do immediately moves out and interacts with what others are doing. Though a very tiny ship sailing upon these ripples would feel tossed and turned about with no harmony or rhyme, the interference patterns thus created create a new and lovely image if seen from above.
You have chosen a difficulty that many in your time are working on. You are correct in this. How each person manifests the difficulty differs, yet the underlying core thought or belief (or cultural issue, if you will) is the same. It centers around why we are here, and what we are here to do.
People in your time are now working on changing the entire structure of their culture. They are stepping up, you might say, into a newer and higher and finer vibration. It is much like the interface between two rivers; there is much turbulence and uncertainty at first, and then the flow deepens and strengthens and steadies into its new course, with certainty and joy.
For joy is what it is all about. You are here to love and be loved; to experience joy and relief from all those old thoughts and habits of behaving. Yet your parents, and the parents of many many people in this culture, believed that joy had to be earned, and then, even if earned, that it had to be measured out in tiny quantities. YOU ARE MADE TO BE TOTALLY JOYFUL. Life is meant to be a blast, to use a colloquialism. Yet joy is denied.
Each child starts [life] knowing joy. Yet very early on, the child is confused by the parent's messages: "We love you," they say, and then they do unloving things. THEY DO NOT DO THESE UNLOVING THINGS TO "GET YOU." They do them because they BELIEVE that what they are doing is the only way. Remember, they had parents who in their day had beliefs about the world; many of those beliefs were that life is harsh, and should be harsh, and so they make it harsh. Inside, they are bitterly creating this harsh reality because they don't believe there is any other way. Yet there is. There is. We would have you know that THERE IS ANOTHER WAY. There is ALWAYS another way. Remember that when you are feeling stuck in that dark cave of your thoughts and despair.
So here we have a sensitive and loving child whose attempts at expressing love naturally are rebuffed. (That is, the child is attempting to express love in what is a natural fashion; unfortunately, the adults are not able to see how natural and healthy that child's gestures and words are, and so they punish the child.) And at the same time, that child is exposed to many many images, words, thoughts (for children read thoughts), and stories that equate love with sex. No, they are not the same, not in the way your society uses the terms, yet a young child is quite literal.
Imagine now we have a young child who is starved for love and is not getting it. And then they are told that love is sex, and sex is love. THAT YOUNG CHILD CONTINUES TO EXIST WITHIN THE ADULT in a very real way. And it continues to seek the love it never got when younger. Only now it is seeking the love from the adult it has become, rather than from the outside, since, TO THAT CHILD, there is little or no difference between one adult and another. The adult represents the provider of love. So when that child asks the adult it has become to behave in a way that makes the child feel loved, the child is also asking, in a very powerful way that can feel like a compulsion to the adult, for WHAT IT PERCEIVES the adult to be capable of giving. In this case, sex. Remembering now that sex = love in that child's mind, ALTHOUGH THAT CHILD STILL KNOWS THE TRUTH OF WHAT REAL LOVE IS ALL ABOUT. The child, you might say, has resigned itself to "playing by the grownups' rules," and it perceives that its particular grownup (that is, the person you have become; remember we are still speaking of the same person here as both a child and an adult), as an expression of the child's parents, only knows how to give love in certain ways.
When we say that the grownup you have become is perceived as an expression of the child's parents (again, you are also that child), we mean that children form their ideas of what grownups are based on their own experience. What else can they base it on? So when you grow up, no matter what you might like to think about yourself or of how you might have changed old patterns (and indeed, you may well have), THE CHILD THAT YOU STILL ARE perceives you as being little or no different from the parents (or parent substitutes) you once had.
How, you might ask, can you heal such a thing? It might sound hopeless—if that child inside you already has such fixed images of what grownups are like, is healing possible? The answer is a resounding YES. COMPLETE HEALING IS POSSIBLE.
In fact, complete healing is far more possible in this new way of looking at yourself than it is in the old way that says that the child you once were is dead and gone. Indeed it is not dead and gone, but is instead a living entity, though now sharing your body, with thoughts and rights of its own.
Bearing in mind, then, that that child exists now, you might then see how it is possible to contact that child; to open a dialog with it; to speak with it, listen to its hurts and dreams and fears and yes, wisdom—a deep wisdom that may astound you. Become aware that that child can change its ideas and beliefs about the world and life and love and sex; can change its ideas, in fact, far more readily because it is still a child and still believes in magic. Not the magic of presto-chango, but a real and deep magic of life itself becoming more than you think possible.
We hope this discussion has been helpful; we now return you to Marina's "normal" entities so they can address your specific questions.
[A clarification here, in case the channeling itself isn't clear: The dynamic is that the child molester recreates his relationship with his parents by molesting a child. The child he molests represents himself—that inner child who is still asking for love. He, the molester, represents his parents who didn't give him the love he wanted. So he, as a representative of his parents, gives "love" to the child he is molesting, who represents himself as a child. This is probably one reason why molesters often say that the molested child "wanted it" or "asked for it," which is false; it is the molester's inner child self who wanted it, not the child who was abused.]
Important! If you are a child sexual abuse (CSA) survivor, there are many resources for you. Here a just a few links to explore. Warning! These links go to sites that deal with some grim realities about sexual abuse of children. Follow these links only if you are 18 or older.
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Copyright © 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Marina Michaels. All rights reserved. For reprint rights, comments, or just to say "hi," see how to contact me.